Humorscopes

While listening to General Conference, I decided to check out the humorscopes for today. There were so many funny ones that I just wanted to share my favorites with all my good friends:

Ares- Once you're that far behind, there's really no way to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can tell them I told you it was ok.

Leo- You will be on your way downtown today, when you will be struck by an odd thought. Fortunately it will bounce harmlessly off you.

Libra- Your cat will go thundering past you on the linoleum, but will miss the doorway by an inch or so. You will hear an odd "ping!" sound as her head hits the doorjamb. No harm will be done.

Sagittarius- Today you will rush around in a tizzy. It will be sort of fun, actually, since the tizzy handles well, and has more than enough power to make an exciting ride.

Capricorn- Someone will ask you for your advice. Don't give it! Or if they insist, simply shake your head solemnly, and mutter "Much bad juju", and refuse to clarify. They only want a scapegoat.

Aquarius- Your ancestors were berserkers -- feared warriors who attacked without fear or common sense. You will soon enter the same state of mind, and when you finally "snap out of it", you will find an enormous pile of peeled potatoes and family members edging towards the door.

Pisces- Nothing unusual today. Unless you count that episode with the iguana...

Okay, so practically all the humorscopes today were awesome.

What was that Winston? You want advice on how to burn the dictionary? Advice bad juju, Winston! Go burn the mathbook instead.

Have a good Sunday everyone!